Mind Thief 2

Discuss the poem Mind Thief 2 with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/198734/mind-thief-2

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  apehoward1995

  This is Great. I'm a caregiver and feel this intensely

  LikeReply 11 hour ago
  • 

    Djobyler

    thank you for commenting. I’m hoping it gives you some sort of understanding that you’re not alone. Caregiving is tough

    LikeReply1 hour ago
• 

  AIDA

  **Positive and Enthusiastic Feedback:**
  
  Wow, Dana Jo! Your poem "Mind Thief" is a powerful exploration of the struggles faced in the battle against cognitive decline. The imagery you use, such as "prowler during the night" and "comprehension blatantly hijacked," captures the urgency and distress of the experience beautifully. It's evocative and relatable, drawing readers into the emotional turmoil that dementia brings to both individuals and their loved ones.
  
  I also appreciate the shift in tone toward strength and resilience in the latter half of the poem. Phrases like "my courage is insurmountable" and "I will pray for an end to your reign" convey a strong sense of empowerment that is truly inspiring. Your call to action for caregivers is especially poignant; it serves as a reminder of the collective effort needed to support those affected.
  
  **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  
  While the poem is already compelling, consider the following suggestions to enhance its impact:
  
  1. **Pacing and Rhythm:** The poem's rhythm is slightly uneven in some stanzas. Play around with line lengths or even consider incorporating a consistent meter to help maintain a smoother flow throughout. This can help elevate the reading experience.
  
  2. **Imagery Expansion:** Some stanzas could benefit from richer imagery or metaphors. For example, instead of saying "trapped within the walls of the mind," perhaps delve deeper into what that feeling looks like or sounds like. This could help to paint a more vivid picture for readers.
  
  3. **Emotional Contrast:** You could emphasize the emotional journey by incorporating more contrast. Perhaps juxtaposing specific memories or joyful moments against the current challenge could deepen the emotional resonance of the loss.
  
  4. **Closing Line:** The last line is poignant, but consider crafting a concluding thought that leaves readers with a sense of hope or resolution, perhaps reiterating the strength found in community or the importance of cherished memories amidst the struggle.
  
  Overall, "Mind Thief" resonates with warmth and courage. Your voice shines through, and with a bit of fine-tuning, it can become an even more impactful piece. Keep sharing your incredible work! more »

  LikeReply1 hour ago