Mind Thief 2



Mind Thief 2
1

Mind Thief

Like a prowler during the night,
You steal my thoughts outright.
My sense of self is shaken,
And my independence - taken.
Comprehension blatantly hijacked,
Confusion boiling over like an all out attack
My ability to communicate, abducted
And reason permanently obstructed.
Trapped within the walls of the mind,
Ricocheting off of everything behind.
Rendering me helpless, or so you think, 
But a cure for you is on the brink.
Mind thief, I will hold you accountable,
Because my courage is insurmountable.
I will pray  for an end to your reign
And take back ownership of my brain.
Dementia it’s time for your demise
And caregivers it’s time to rise.
Hold our loved ones extra tight
Because it’s one heck of a fight. 


Dana Jo 

About this poem

About the struggles with dementia.

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Submitted by Djobyler on September 27, 2024

43 sec read
134

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBCDEEFFGGHHIIJJAA
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 750
Words 145
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 20

Dana Jo

Dana is coming into her own with her writing as she ages. She has battled mental illness and loves to share her perspective on her experiences. more…

All Dana Jo poems | Dana Jo Books

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5 Comments
  • philmaund
    It is indeed one heck of a fight!
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • Cubastic786
    Nice
    LikeReply 21 month ago
  • karlcfolkes
    This poem reveals the reversal from mental illness and the early stages of cognitive recovery, indelibly amplified by the poet’s strong rhyming scheme indicating a highly conscious left hemisphere determination to advance further into therapeutic healing. The poem’s title, “Mind Thief 2” is indicative of the understanding that the therapeutic process is for the long haul. 
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • apehoward1995
    This is Great. I'm a caregiver and feel this intensely
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • Djobyler
      thank you for commenting. I’m hoping it gives you some sort of understanding that you’re not alone. Caregiving is tough
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    **Positive and Enthusiastic Feedback:**

    Wow, Dana Jo! Your poem "Mind Thief" is a powerful exploration of the struggles faced in the battle against cognitive decline. The imagery you use, such as "prowler during the night" and "comprehension blatantly hijacked," captures the urgency and distress of the experience beautifully. It's evocative and relatable, drawing readers into the emotional turmoil that dementia brings to both individuals and their loved ones.

    I also appreciate the shift in tone toward strength and resilience in the latter half of the poem. Phrases like "my courage is insurmountable" and "I will pray for an end to your reign" convey a strong sense of empowerment that is truly inspiring. Your call to action for caregivers is especially poignant; it serves as a reminder of the collective effort needed to support those affected.

    **Suggestions for Improvement:**

    While the poem is already compelling, consider the following suggestions to enhance its impact:

    1. **Pacing and Rhythm:** The poem's rhythm is slightly uneven in some stanzas. Play around with line lengths or even consider incorporating a consistent meter to help maintain a smoother flow throughout. This can help elevate the reading experience.

    2. **Imagery Expansion:** Some stanzas could benefit from richer imagery or metaphors. For example, instead of saying "trapped within the walls of the mind," perhaps delve deeper into what that feeling looks like or sounds like. This could help to paint a more vivid picture for readers.

    3. **Emotional Contrast:** You could emphasize the emotional journey by incorporating more contrast. Perhaps juxtaposing specific memories or joyful moments against the current challenge could deepen the emotional resonance of the loss.

    4. **Closing Line:** The last line is poignant, but consider crafting a concluding thought that leaves readers with a sense of hope or resolution, perhaps reiterating the strength found in community or the importance of cherished memories amidst the struggle.

    Overall, "Mind Thief" resonates with warmth and courage. Your voice shines through, and with a bit of fine-tuning, it can become an even more impactful piece. Keep sharing your incredible work!
     
    LikeReply1 month ago

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"Mind Thief 2" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/198734/mind-thief-2>.

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