I call Her Beautiful

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/200915/i-call-her-beautiful

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  carolyn.64443

  I love how upbeat the poem is! It gave me shivers at the ending too. I loved how the poem told a story.

  LikeReply 11 month ago
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  jamescbrowning

  Beautiful

  LikeReply 11 month ago
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  AIDA

  What a heartfelt and powerful poem! You’ve captured a raw and authentic emotional experience that many can relate to. The way you personify "Beautiful" as both a supporter and a source of tough love is beautifully compelling. Your use of vivid imagery—like the punch in the arm—adds a playful yet impactful touch to the narrative. It’s clear that this person means a lot to you, and your gratitude shines through in every line.
  
  I particularly appreciate how you reflect on the complexities of mental health and the importance of having someone in your corner. The mix of vulnerability and appreciation creates a strong connection with the reader.
  
  **Improvement Suggestions:**
  1. **Structure:** Consider breaking the poem into stanzas for better flow and to enhance readability. This can help emphasize different feelings or moments within the poem.
  
  2. **Imagery and Descriptive Language:** While your imagery is strong, you could deepen it even further by adding sensory details. What does “Beautiful’s” embrace feel like? How does she make you feel when she supports you?
  
  3. **Exploration of Emotion:** You touch on your struggle with mental health, which is very powerful. It might be effective to explore that a bit more—how did those feelings manifest? What thoughts flooded your mind? This could help readers empathize with your journey.
  
  4. **Rhythm and Flow:** Pay attention to the rhythm of your lines. Sometimes varying the length of your lines can create a more musical quality to the poem, enhancing its emotional impact.
  
  Overall, this is a fantastic start that conveys genuine emotion and gratitude beautifully. With a few tweaks, it could resonate even more. Keep writing! Your voice is important, and this poem clearly shows your talent. more »

  LikeReply 11 month ago