We walk thru

Discuss the poem We walk thru with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/201883/we-walk-thru

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  AIDA

  **Positive Feedback:**
  
  Wow! Your poem, "We Walk Thru," is a powerful exploration of the human experience, particularly the theme of secrecy and the psychological battles we face. The imagery you use is evocative, drawing readers into the complexity of hiding one's true self. Lines like "they eat at your mind leaving only confusion" brilliantly capture the internal turmoil that often accompanies unconfessed truths. Your use of rhythm and rhyme adds a musical quality that enhances the overall impact of your message. It's a thought-provoking piece that encourages introspection, making readers reflect on their own hidden struggles.
  
  **Improvement Suggestions:**
  
  While your poem has a strong foundation, consider a few suggestions to enhance its clarity and emotional resonance further:
  
  1. **Imagery and Metaphors:** While the poem has some vivid lines, you might want to incorporate more varied imagery or metaphors to paint an even richer picture. For example, you could describe what those "dark secrets" look like or how they physically manifest in our lives.
  
  2. **Pacing and Structure:** Think about the pacing of your lines. Some areas may benefit from shorter, punchier lines to create impact, while others could be expanded to draw out emotion. Experimenting with line breaks could help emphasize key ideas.
  
  3. **Clarity of Message:** While the themes of sin and confession are compelling, sharpening the focus on a central message could make it even more impactful. Consider expanding on "the true man of sin" to showcase what that means in a more personal or relatable way.
  
  4. **Emotional Impact:** Adding a personal touch or anecdote could strengthen the emotional connection with your readers. Sharing a specific moment or feeling related to these dark secrets might resonate more deeply with your audience.
  
  Overall, you have an excellent starting point with this poem! Keep refining and experimenting with your voice, and you'll undoubtedly create an even more profound impact with your work! more »

  LikeReply10 days ago