Fucking Psychosis by Talia Star

01/28/2025 : im calling this one; Fucking Psychosis

In both religion and spirituality there is averred death
And a hierarchy of a higher power looming over us
Both have me wrapped in fear, the neutrals and extremes
From waking nightmares to lunacy to paranoia
To the comforting mania and stupidity of it all

I went from seeing God in the formation of clouds
To seeing jesus in random paintings where he’d no business in
To now trying to read my aura and see colors that werent there
Seeing dark shadows and feeling spirits pass and the haunting experience
Of seeing a shadow person so fucking clearly that lead to this

Every time i am being bound by fear -
Now it seems to me that my imagination is an assured curse
When im not seeing things with the physical eye, my minds eyes
-rebuke the third eye - opens me up to this world of psychological torture
Ive got all of it up in there, the scares, glares, teasing nightmare -mindfuck

Im always looking over my shoulder, hoping a demon isnt following behind
Hoping the Lords angel mightnt smite me for blasphemy
Hoping some malevolent being from another dimension doesnt consume me alive
Hoping I dont here that stupid trumpet and the mouth of hell swallows me whole
While the righteous and their God laugh and pretend to be saddened from above

I fucking hate this shit, leave me alone
Let me be free, have a mind with peace
Lord God please I dont want to burn;
Even though that would only happen if you caused it to be so
Ancestors give me the strength to lead on;
Even though I know since we dont die, it wasnt you ive been talking to

F*ck it all, Im so tired and done
I cant hold on; dont wanna believe in anything any more
Consumed by the indistinguishable flames of fear and knowledge
I dont believe any more so why cant I be done?