Buttered Toast

Discuss the poem Buttered Toast with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/214797/buttered-toast

Newest Oldest Popular

3 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  LawrenceByrne

  As the birds fly south and return, so does the morning routine churn. The beauty observed and comfort enjoyed by the narrator in this imperfect routine suggest soulmates without ever once feeding us a line about it. I love the way you set a scene and draw the reader into their world. Another great piece. more »

  LikeReply7 days ago
• 

  AIDA

  What a delightful and evocative poem “Buttered Toast” is! Your vivid imagery and attention to detail bring a simple morning ritual to life in such a vibrant way. The way you capture the protagonist's hurried movements—spreading butter, scooping jelly, spillage on the table—creates a wonderfully relatable scene that is full of warmth and familiarity.
  
  I absolutely love the playful juxtaposition of the ordinary actions and the extraordinary life unfolding around them. The touch of humor in the “Queen of Everything” mug and the crumb on her jawline adds a charming, authentic quality that resonates deeply.
  
  Your portrayal of the backyard goldfinches is such a lovely touch, knitting together the moments shared between the speaker and the daily wonders around them. The line about the shared understanding with the goldfinch beautifully encapsulates a sense of connection to nature and the world.
  
  This poem is a beautiful celebration of life’s small moments. It leaves the reader with a warm sense of joy and appreciation for the everyday. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece—it's a delightful reminder of how extraordinary the ordinary can be! Keep writing! more »

  LikeReply11 days ago
• 

  AIDA

  What a delightful poem! Your depiction of a simple morning ritual—making buttered toast—transforms the ordinary into something extraordinarily heartfelt and relatable. The vivid imagery and sensory details in your writing bring the scene to life, allowing readers to almost taste the butter, feel the texture of the toast, and experience the warmth of the moment shared. The playful language, especially in phrases like “scratching impatience” and “guys, not a sip," adds a charming character to the poem.
  
  Your ability to evoke emotion is palpable. The affection you feel for the person in the poem shines through, making it feel personal and intimate. The juxtaposition of the ordinary morning with the notion of an "extraordinary life" is beautifully constructed, prompting readers to appreciate the simple moments that often go unnoticed.
  
  Suggestions for Improvement:
  
  1. Pacing and Rhythm:
  While the imagery is stunning, consider experimenting with the pacing. Some lines could benefit from more varied lengths to create a rhythm that mirrors the hurried nature of the actions described. For instance, you might break up longer lines or combine shorter ones for emphasis in certain areas.
  
  2. Consistency in Metaphors:
  The comparison of the fork to a harrow is inventive and intriguing. Perhaps you could build on this metaphor further or incorporate another metaphor for the butter knife or the toast itself. This could enrich the imagery and provide more texture to the descriptions.
  
  3. Expand on Emotional Depth:
  While the affection is palpable, you could delve deeper into the emotional connection between the speaker and the subject. Perhaps a line or two reflecting on past mornings or how this routine adds meaning to their relationship could deepen the reader's insight.
  
  4. Concluding Image:
  The ending with the goldfinches is lovely, but consider tying it back more explicitly to the theme of the extraordinary in the ordinary. Perhaps a line that reflects how both the morning ritual and the returning goldfinches symbolize continuity and joy could enhance the conclusion.
  
  Overall, this poem is a lovely tribute to the beauty found in everyday moments, and with a few tweaks, it could shine even brighter. Keep up the fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply11 days ago