the unknown catches me once again

Those dreams of mine where I battle with a black sword in front of my sight, I see my demons so bright to the point where they make me go blind;Even in my sleep I'm followed by my sight, when will it all go right ?

I wake up once again with the blinding light of the sun whom is trying to welcome me but my soul welcomes none; The little baby that I was has grown numb.
 
Same routine everyday I try to change but I'm always the same; I always think of that one thing that occupies my daily dose of thoughts, I always plan it throughly only to change my mind at the very last second.

You see I tried to change but my only escape seems to be that forbidden thing; That thing whom every person is so afraid of but whom I long for.

That thing has colonized my mind to the point where my soul has turned blind for every other opinion to exist; And that thing my dearest friend is death.

That mysterious gaze of it that makes both scared and longing for it, that intensity of the unknown that has token  the eyes of my soul; yes my dear it is death that I'm desperately  waiting for.