Judgment

Conflicted and torn! A twisted smile full of my pain! Heart full of a lifetime of my tears! Falling to my knees im praying for answers! Choking on these bitter words! They taste sour! Suffocating under the hurt i feel! Crumbling as the darkness succumbs me! Looking to the sky and all i see is hell! Broken and beatin! The weight of the world set upon me! Crushing my will to fight on! Destroying my existance! Consumed by the darkness! Not so much as a flicker of hope! I cry out! Pouring my soul into the words i write! Forgotton are the days i smiled! The days i laughed! And the times of joy! Holding my bleeding heart! Asking god to forgive me! But seeing only the devils crooked smile! Welcoming my agony! He releases his cackle of laughter! Dragging me deeper into my personal hell! Pulverizing any chance i have at peace! Punishing me for my sins! Cursing me to this never ending struggle! Forced to be alone! For i dont deserve love! Holding me in an eternity of endless dispair! Lost in this abyss! My life is hopeless! Why has god forgotten me? I can no longer hear his voice! Has he forsaken me? Seems all i know is the warmth of the devils embrace! Burning through my fragile mind! Pitiful and disparaging! Weak and powerless! As my chest tightens! I felt his piercing blow! Nothing matters and no one cares! Better off not on this earth! Bring me home father! Standing at my judgement! Stareing at my soul in the mirror! Waterfalls of tears streaming out! I am nothing! No love! And No compassion! Only the doomed flesh of a sinner! A wasted body! Withered and wilted! A jolting shock that runs through my brain! A disturbing realization that i am worthless! Synapses of the fear that finally caught up to  me! Breaking down with bloodshot eyes! A heartfelt im sorry I say to you all! Never ment to be this man i am today! Didnt want to be so pathetic! Couldnt fathom i could ever be so wretched! Dont know how i let i happen! Clutching the bullet in my fist! My finger on the trigger! Fadeing away! Gone in an instant! Nothing but my flesh remains! I took my hurt and gave it away! My last and final gift!