Modern Hygiene



'Mother, may I go in to swim?'
'My dear, you didn't oughter.
I've heard of baths filled to the brim
With something more than water.'

'Mother, I want to learn to swim.'
'Oh, have a care, my daughter!
I fear this ultra-modern whim
To lave in ale and porter.'

'Mother!  They all go in to swim!'
'Think of the aftermath, dear.
Well, hang your clothes on a hickory limb,
But never drink your bath, dear.'

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

23 sec read
117

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB ABAB ABAB
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 396
Words 83
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

 · 1876 · Auburn
 · 1938 · Melbourne

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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