The Barber's Story

'Mornin',' I sez to 'im,
Gloomy, 'e seemed to be.
Glum an' unsociable.  Comes in the shop
'Mornin',' I sez to 'im.
'E don't say anythin'.
'You're next,' I sez; an' 'e sits with a flop.

'Great Cup?' I sez to 'im.
Shakin' the wrappin's out.
'E don't say nuthin'; but jist give a grunt.
'Great win?' I sez to 'im,
Smilin' incouragin'.
'Wonderful way that 'e come to the front.'

'E don't reply to me.
Sits sorta glarin' like.
'Phar Lap,' I sez to 'im.  'Wonder 'orse. Wot?
'Ave a win yestidy?'
Still 'e don't answer me.
'Phar Lap,' I sez, ''e made 'acks of the lot.'

'Champeen,' I sez to 'him.
'Wonderful popiler…
This 'ere Tregiller, 'e never showed up…
Phar Lap,' I sez to 'im,
'Mus' be a wonder 'orse.
But this Tregiller run bad in the Cup.'

'Wot?' 'e come back at me,
Lookin' peculiar
Red in the face, so I thought 'e would choke.
'Cab-horse!' 'e sez to me,
Nasty an' venimous -
Reel disagreeable sort of a bloke.

'Tregiller!' 'e sez to me,
Glarin' reel murderous.
'Tregiller!!' 'e barks at me. 'That 'airy goat!'
Surly, 'e seemed to me
Man couldn't talk to 'im. . . .
''Air-cut?' I sez to 'im.
'No!' 'e sez.  'Throat!'