ggsunmoon
  Bronze Member

it is a succinct, well laid out and i liked the subject

really enjoyed this poem ,

ravages

love, love love it, it also could be a social commentary on the ravishes of capitalist cutthroat competition that spits out dejected human beings

nice, i wrote a similar poem. Magical thinking, the fantastical american mind

“The charm of anticipated success”, everything accepted with a “bated breathe”,

The revival meeting is a fluffy huffy guff, oh boy that snake oil is really good stuff

Wandering and wondering among the bounty, he will build my own empire, have his own county,

Dreaming the fantasy that tickles his fancy, the dream will come true, it is not even chancy

Everyman is a castle, or he believes that it is so, he’ll make good on his aspiration or keep it in tow

As tocqueville and others pointed out long ago, america and magical thinking are apropos more »

i liked the poem . i think if you described differen sounds that the image would make the poem would have a more of a metaphoric effect. for instance
no windbag incessant droning from politicians or something like that my 2 cents more »

very emotional poem i like it maybe piss should be hiss, holding maybe scolding or molding?

beautiful message, well designed focused message

if you look behind you you will come unstuck from the chair, nothing is behind you because the past is gone

Love it , i think the line dwell in darkness needs reworked but the imagery is strong

for me it was a switch turned on and wahlaa, a poem out of nowhere but i suspect it is 65 years of bottled up something, peace 7g

i liked it!!!! maybe rework the last 2 lines . the other lines were great i saw the images. so yeah nice

i liked the proclaiming nature of the poem my only critique is the word conquering your positive proclamation is dampen into a dark cloud in your last line.

nice, nice nice