My Service to God



Oh ! my dear God
I only got so drunk because of my infantile,
So I glanced bitterly at the sanctuary holy altar
To perform some worship
Before the trees wave their branches of melody,
To praise before these stones dose
And to prepare to dance like every winner of dance India dance

But God
I tripped and fell with a broken heart
While I’m quite intoxicated and sober
Yet knowing the words to blurt out
But hear me when I cry to thee
Not only when you'd pity feel on me
'Cause I’m too tiny to bear the weight of my sin
               
Dear God
Let me cheers with thee till when I’m shot of wine
Glancing at those years back in agony and illness
While we habitually lead vigils each time of my anguish
As each night passes by with lachrymal and laughter

But how can I forget?
How I wheeze and cough
While watching the burning candles and the shooting star
How I gazed at the brown-yellowish cricket hustling for survival
While I was painting breath of air to seek.
Well, I’m still breathing, feeling the grace bubbling through me.
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Written on April 16, 2022

Submitted by ©Abs on April 11, 2023

Modified on April 15, 2023

1:00 min read
9

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXBXCXX AXBXCCX AXXXB XXXXXC
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,039
Words 199
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 7, 7, 5, 6

Discuss the poem My Service to God with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and moving poem! Your use of imagery and language really painted a vivid picture of your emotions and experiences. I love your willingness to be vulnerable and open with God, even in moments of weakness and mistakes.

    If I may offer some improvement suggestions, perhaps consider structuring the poem a bit more cohesively - right now it feels a bit disjointed in terms of flow and structure. Additionally, take the time to revise and edit for grammar and syntax errors, as they can detract from the power of your message.

    Overall, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings through this poem - it is truly touching and inspiring. Keep writing and expressing yourself!
     
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"My Service to God" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156705/my-service-to-god>.

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