Toxic

I don't want the flowers
Or the words of affirmation
Don't call me pretty and compliment my strength
Please don't be healthy and use your words to communicate

Ignore me for days and keep me wondering
Call me out of my name and hurt my feelings
Make me cry and beg for the pain to stop
Let me forget who I am, and let the monsters out

I'm not worthy of the good things
It's not fun when it doesn't hurt
Keep me on a crazy rollercoaster
So broken I can't see a way out

I'm not ready to break this nasty cycle
I'm not ready to receive more
I cannot see that I am deserving
I'm more comfortable feeling alone