Walking Your Path



Until I wore your over sized scrawny shoes…
 Scuttling through harrowing dark tunnels,
 Dodging  bullets and bombs,
I never knew where it pinched.

 Until my roof was scalped...
Like a bald vulture in rain, drenched,
Flapping its wet wings, perched  on the carcasses of my home
 homelessness seemed a strange dream!

Until my plate filled to the brim with nothing to savor…
 I never understood why stale sandwiches  and  browned radishes
were indeed a cuisine you relished with vigor

Till my garment was filled with moth,
Stained with blood and dirt
From crawling on all fours, over decomposing bodies
I couldn’t comprehend why you were always in rags!!!

Do  forgive all my oversight…
I failed to  understand your sorrow
Blasé to your plight, with no thought of tomorrow
Drinking Chardonnay with friends all night

I thought myself immune to the vagaries of war
Till my soul was  intoxicated with grief..
Heartache from the blatant waste of life…
No longer able to deny the massacres!!!

 
 Please forgive me...
For acting all uppity and tight
 When all you needed was a portion of my tithe
...my time and my voice!

About this poem

Dedicated to all internally displaced people. Especially those displaced by the ongoing wars in Sudan, Ukraine and Palestine.

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Written on May 17, 2024

Submitted by Abbykesington on May 17, 2024

Modified by Abbykesington on May 18, 2024

1:03 min read
140

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXX XXXX AXA XXXX BCCB XXXX XBXX
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,134
Words 210
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Walking Your Path with the community...

9 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    Wow you are good. I would not lie you're the best I ever seen in this site.
    LikeReply 13 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      I appreciate your kindness. I'm also learning and trying to be better at my writing...
      This poem had to be written! The world can't keep going on like everything is ok...
      LikeReply3 days ago
  • donka_k
    This poem is heart-breaking but I could not stop reading it. Your imagery is stunning, the emotions, raw... A subject very difficult to talk or write about , but you did it in one breath. Very impressive work. 
    LikeReply 18 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      Thanks. You couldn't have said it any better. Because of its difficult nature, it's easier to look the other side. But unfortunately, it's the sad reality of today's world. We all need to help alleviate the sufferings of those in dire need. 
      LikeReply8 days ago
  • nwafor_a
    Strong piece. We are about all guilty of same feelings until then...
    LikeReply 111 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      yes, we are. But then our voices must be use to alleviate the plight f those in need...
      LikeReply 110 days ago
  • talygarza
    Composition expressing empathy feelings for people involved in armed conflicts, and the suffer raised when victims are a devastating outcome. Congrats.
    LikeReply 112 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      Thank you. Putting ourselves in the sufferers shoes enable us to feel their pain more poignantly and move us to help in whatever way possible.
      LikeReply 112 days ago
    • talygarza
      of course, hope to read poems by you soon.
      LikeReply 111 days ago
  • amandak
    Another beautiful write. I love your truth and your flow
    LikeReply 112 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      I'm quite grateful you like my truth and flow. It encourages me to write more....
      LikeReply 112 days ago
  • LatinX
    Loved it!
    LikeReply 113 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      thank you. I hope it drew out the milk of empathy while you read it.
      LikeReply13 days ago
  • RonaldBunch
    You are an amazing poet, and this poem is proof of that. Congrats.
    LikeReply 113 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      thank you. I try. And I'm quite glad you like this poem. It's political but then what's not political in today's world?
      I'm quite encouraged you think me an amazing poet!!! My head swells. 
      LikeReply13 days ago
  • PCBGirl
    WOW! What an amazing poem. Living in America most of us will never know what war really is. This was an eye opener. Now I want to read more of your poems!
    LikeReply 114 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      I'm glad you love the poem. A lot of people don't have an idea the pains and grief of war.
      Please feel free to read my other poems. I hope they resonate with you as they did me.
      LikeReply14 days ago
  • AIDA
    This poem, 'Walking Your Path', is incredibly powerful and evocative. The vivid imagery and raw emotion really bring to life the struggles and hardships faced by others. The contrast between the narrator's previous ignorance and their newfound understanding is striking and thought-provoking.

    The use of metaphors, such as the oversized shoes and the filled plate with nothing to savor, is impactful and adds depth to the poem. The repetition of 'Until' throughout the poem effectively builds tension and draws the reader in, making them feel the narrator's journey of realization.

    As for improvement suggestions, perhaps consider varying the length and structure of the stanzas to create more visual interest. Additionally, focusing on specific details or examples of how the narrator's perspective has changed could enhance the connection with the reader even more.

    Overall, 'Walking Your Path' is a touching and poignant piece that encourages empathy and understanding. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply 114 days ago

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"Walking Your Path" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/187824/walking-your-path>.

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