Deep Breaths
I can feel the tentacles slithering around my mind. The darkness seeping in and the tears pouring over the edge of my eyelids, no matter how I try to stop them.
My head hurts from trying to keep everything in.
I’m on the edge
I have given and given and do not have not much left to give.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
I tried to reclaim my life. I tried to push through.
There were moments when I did. Moments that outsiders see and think it adds up to a successful and happy life
But I have only ended up right back where I started.
How did this happen?
Because I got to the edge and I didn’t trust myself
I listened to the bullshit
I didn’t just jump
I crawled
And now I am lost again
Although I see glimmers of light
Glimmers and then the black clouds, the ominous smoke rolls in
It clouds my view
I can’t breathe
I close my eyes
I just want the pain to be over
I want to be content
At peace
The tears stream
I don’t want anyone to see them because no one understands
And so many who say they care are the reasons that my eyes burn and my head pounds and my heart aches
They care because they don’t want me to change
Then they won’t get what they need
I will no longer be supply
And that terrifies them
They would rather manipulate and guilt and hurt me
Under the guise of being “the best thing that ever happened to me.“
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths.
Stand up. Figure it out.
Once again, fight through it. Get out.
And don’t ever enter this place again.
About this poem
I wrote this poem as I navigate depression and some tough life choices, even as my life on the outside looks successful and happy.
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Written on November 14, 2022
Submitted by Christine_1 on November 14, 2022
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 1:41 min read
- 44 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | A B X X X C X X X X X X D X B C X X X X X X X X X X A E E F F D |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic pentameter |
Characters | 1,532 |
Words | 338 |
Stanzas | 32 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 |
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"Deep Breaths" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 10 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/145634/deep-breaths>.
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