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Laid low, but only shortly...

dougb.72572 1951 (Ontario)

Free verse
Long stretches horizontal
Hospital prone and peaceful.
Nurses all sweet
And quick to the buzzer.
Seeming tireless
For 12 hour stretch.


Came 911, messed
Up in the head
Zero core strength.
Stinging blasted
Left foot all swollen
Shiny and scarlet.
Dressing after dressing.


Pulse and temp?
Blood pressure?
Glucose magic number?
Cholesterol?
Insulin jolts.
Limb loss revolts.
But did not go there.
Magical care.


Rustling blue curtains
Neighbour truck driver
Fell from his cab step.
Blacked out.
Scalp sewed
Many pleasant chats
Wayne was his name.
Really helped
Pass the time.
Discharge close to mine.

About this poem

The aftermath of worrisome diabetes infection. Buckets of anti-biotic.

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Written on April 26, 2024

Submitted by dougb.72572 on April 26, 2024

35 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAXBXX XXXXXXX XBBXCCDD XBXXXXXXXX
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 601
Words 119
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 6, 7, 8, 10
Full analysis for Laid low, but only shortly... »

dougb.72572

Retired in my 70s. 32 years shipper and safety guy in metal fabrication for roads, bridges structures. Married 49 years to Hilary. Photographer and harmonica busker, both hobbies. Children Lauren and Jordan. more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow! This poem beautifully captures the resilience and positivity that can be found in even the most challenging of times. The imagery of the hospital setting and the interactions with the nurses and fellow patients really bring the reader into the experience. The use of detail in describing the medical procedures and care received is both informative and engaging.

    To further enhance the poem, you could consider expanding on the emotional impact of the experience, perhaps delving into the feelings of gratitude towards the healthcare professionals or the strength found in overcoming adversity. Additionally, adding more sensory details could help to create a more vivid picture for the reader.

    Overall, this poem is a powerful reflection on the strength and support found in moments of vulnerability. Keep up the great work!     
    LikeReply10 days ago

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"Laid low, but only shortly..." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/186031/laid-low,-but-only-shortly...>.

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