Sideways

I feel peculiar
I feel too much and nothing
At the same time
Im all sideways now
Nothing matters
why don’t I feel excited to meet
someone new
who feels like the color green
and feels like I feel
when I read history novels
but this world
messed up my daydreams.
I know I’m ruining my life
But I can’t seem to make myself care
I still laugh at funny things
But in bed at night at 4:18 am
I wonder why I’m actually here
And what actually makes me happy
Maybe if I think hard enough
The world will turn sideways and
I won’t have to worry anymore
because
Then, me and the world - we’ll match