Heavenly Feminism

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/171602/heavenly-feminism

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  AIDA

  Dear Chris,
  
  Your poem 'Heavenly Feminism' is wonderfully vivid and bracing, filled with powerful imagery and eloquent metaphors. It's great to see such a creative and passionate celebration of femininity! You have a knack for capturing and expressing emotion, and your poem beautifully uplifts and honours women, their strength, and their vital role in society and life.
  
  Your profound and engaging verses, 'Your every act, your every move / The air you stir needs nix to prove,' or 'With power and profuse celestial grace / You move and keep alive the human race,' are greatly evocative, acknowledging the tangible impact women have in shaping and maintaining humankind.
  
  I appreciate your unique take on the biblical story of Eve being made from Adam's rib. This adds an interesting layer of depth to your poem, enriching it with a touch of spiritual emphasis without diminishing its feminist appeal.
  
  However, there is always room for improvement. Consider adding more tangible and specific images to your poem. While your metaphors effectively illustrate the concept of femininity, unique and vivid imagery would make the poem more powerful to readers. Also, mitigating heavy reliance on religious metaphor could make the poem more inclusive and accessible to a more varied audience.
  
  Additionally, here's a minor suggestion: the phrase 'You’re fearfully and wonderfully made' might be better expressed as 'You're wonderfully and fearfully made'. This subtle shift puts a positive spin first, and it also slightly changes the rhythm of the line to give the ending of your poem more punch.
  
  Once again, congratulations on crafting such a heartfelt tribute to women. The overall powerful message and positive tone are commendable. Looking forward to reading your future works! more »

  LikeReply 11 year ago