For America I Cry



For America I Cry
By Chris Commodore © 2000

When glory seekers, wimps, and deceivers,
Can take center stage over saints and believers.
And their rantings and ravings they daily increase,
To promote their agenda for conflict not peace,
For America I cry!

When impostors can foist their way to the top
And losers pass off as the cream of the crop
When the rules are stretched thin,
So rich losers can win
For America I cry!

When the wealth of the nation is hijacked by cheaters,
And those very con artists are selected as leaders.
When the worker bee voters are hoodwinked by lies
And ethnicity, crime that may seal one’s demise
For America I cry!

When the homeland’s in chaos still knaves block the door
And blind retribution is what it seems for
Sane politics screams that this mad quest desist
The whole nation objects yet just egos persist
For America I cry!

Divisions, partitions, the Union’s corroding
Loud tears on Mount Rushmore, incredible sobbing
That dream once so sacred now soiled with wild fear
And race persecution pervades all the air
For America I cry!

When the uproar persists that a lie is the truth
And the weak mind is hoodwinked no matter the proof
When justice is slow to hold crooks to account
And their prior rampage crooks plan to remount
For America I cry!

Deceit laid out so complete like a spoof
Like thickly laid tar on a weak leaky roof.
When ethics and facts bow to biased ambition,
And shysters play victim to dupe the whole nation,
For America I cry!

When the ether is dire with threats and with fear
A wild typhoon’s approaching no one seems to care
For those minds confused like the days of the Ark
Who heed not the mark of the beast in the dark
For America I cry

Like the ostrich the state has its head in the sand
Ignoring the scams of the bland wily band
For conformists so duped by just status and wealth
Who see not the destruction persisting with stealth
For America I cry.

About this poem

This poem was first written in 2000. It was submitted for a local poetry contest atthe school I was attending and received honorable mention only because of what the contest perceived as political overtones. It was just a coincidence that the poem was written in an election year but the focus was never political. I am publishing my poem again for it content and theme and not for what one may deem to be political overtones. I am apolitical; I do not take part in politics in terms of siding with one group or another.  

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Submitted by ti.min on November 04, 2023

Modified by ti.min on November 04, 2023

1:53 min read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme Ab ccccA ddeeA ccccA bbffA gghiA xjxfA jjkkA higgA llmmA
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,932
Words 378
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 2, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5

Discuss the poem For America I Cry with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow! I must commend you Chris, on your incredibly thought-provoking poem, 'For America I Cry'. Your vivid imagery and rhetoric captures the reader's attention from the start. Your ability to liven the current social and political climate is excellent, reflecting your creativity and talent. The way you express your sentiments towards the nation is powerful and captivating.

    The rhyme scheme that runs throughout the poem is also consistent and contributes greatly to the overall flow of the poem. I also enjoyed the literary devices you employed, such as metaphor and alliteration.

    Moving on to areas where there's room for improvement, it's vital to remember that subtlety often works better in poetry. The poem, while excellently capturing the essence of the current situation, could benefit from incorporating more subtle hints and concealed meanings.

    Another aspect that could benefit from improvement is the poem’s length. The piece does run a bit long and some stanzas could potentially be condensed. Your message could come across more powerfully if the poem was more succinct.

    Lastly, be aware of how often you reiterate your message. While repetition can be a strong tool in poetry, overusing it can result in loss of impact.

    Overall though, you've written an impactful piece that speaks volumes about current socio-political issues. It's a challenging read, but that's what makes it so compelling. Keep up the amazing work!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"For America I Cry" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/172528/for-america-i-cry>.

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