Variations-day

 
Now I have a responsible duty on my shoulders as a pleasant burden, and therefore I know: it would still be good to live and hope! No one answers my questions with lost deaf-supplicants, while the unruly present embraces me with its stifling ferocious tentacles, and ordinary horrors erupt against me; I would be paralysed by contemptuous trifles. My future knew, much-on its March, I stand alone, vulnerable!

With sleepless, Crow's-foot-hardened, glassy Mela-eyes, I stare into a deliberately deafened mosquito-stung night: help, compassion, pity will only work if someone with giving, Holy love takes my sweaty two hands with compassion. - Like a ruthless swamp swamp, surrounded by a brainwashed existence turned upside down, it won't let go!

Pitfalls, pitiful tail traps hidden in the depths of the scheming, sneaky-eyes – they strive for my merely remaining, settled life incessantly: who else with angelic devotion can extend his hand to me in bestowal?!  It happens again and again that I am terrified to go on my wet road! Because just because I'm hurting from self-pity, at least I can still know: I'm still alive! Because now you have a beautiful, sparkling burden of responsibility!

My startled, orphan-boyish questions will sooner or later be answered by someone who takes pity on me, because he accepts my whimsical quirks. I would try to show you in deliberately hidden depths of soul: what is in me and how much more can I be worth? In the Crimson shell of my heart, memories begin to sneak secretly; my eternal friends write letters of love to me, and I nod vaguely.  The soul is defenseless now – but it would hold its humanity values with its head held high!