ADHD

  
                                        ADHD

This crippled mind’s war beyond thought’s border,
Has lapses in its timing, defining this disorder.  

 
Can you see to forgive and thus absolve me,
For my fast and frantic, ADHD.
Unrestrained details seem to just flee,
Tasks seem overwhelming and piled to the knee.
 
I awake in the morning and drive off to work.
Now I’ve missed the exit; I feel like a jerk.
Missing my glasses; the spare I can't find.
Lost tract of my speed, now a cop’s close behind.

Phoned at work from a close family member,
I called back in time but just don’t remember,
It’s about a sick friend and what I should send her.
My thoughts swirl about: Scrabble blocks in a blender.
 
Work went well, I thought while driving home.
But I wondered how far my wild mind did roam.
Was Wednesday's meeting moved to the afternoon?
Was May’s conference postponed until June?  
 
I grabbed to my right, Is my planner on the seat?
It's left at my desk, near files not so neat.  
I bought a spare one to stay on my feet,
Lost it with my dog, who thought it was a treat.    
 
Names are not fun; we hired two Bob’s and a Jill.
Remembering colleagues’ names sure makes me ill.
Each person has a strong and helpful mnemonic,
Fred was really Ted; I’m prolonging the moronic.
 


Don't think I'm lazy, I work hard on my schemes.    
I can't dodge distractions, not even in my dreams.
I have a set plan that will turn you on your head,
Yet somehow defer to impulsiveness instead.
 
 
The will is surely there, but the finger string got lost.
The note on my desk has fallen and been tossed.
It’s been hard to hold down jobs, I gather no moss.
Liability was compromised at such a huge cost.

 
My not being present meant the shedding of friends.
It was tough to double back and then make amends.   
Parts of life at times, seemed to have vanished.
I ardently wanted; this poor attention span banished.




Can the heart not recapture from a mind on the fly?
Is it the drudgery of days, or the sublime slipping by?
What did I lose, what will I miss?
A visit from a God, a pinprick, or a kiss?

Shedding many details; fraying hope’s robe at the seams,
Am I not Pig Pen, sloughing off the debris of dreams?





So, I decided to put some of my prospects on a shelf,
With a free and open resolve to merely be myself.
Not to over strive, and keep showing up,
Details then fell in place instead of blowing up.



Writing with a frenetic pen, a script of the new and bold,  
Casting colors from a broken prism, refracted and recast as gold.


My focus seemed temporary, like it had been out on loan.  
At times so far outside of the box, a return would not be shown.
Come see now how I’ve rocked a new box all my own.
It excludes all minutiae; and adds insights never known.
 

New  challenges still seem tough; destined for doom,
Like trying not to think, of the pink elephant in the room.
But persevere I will, newly self-aware in the wake,
Remembering most times, the pachyderm is fake.
   
 
And if someone asks if the elephant ever gets in my way,
I’ll offer them to climb aboard and ride him someday.
If they show concern, mock and scoff at such things,
I’ll show them its thick skin and how it’s sprouts pink wings.
 



                                  ------Al Bartolis     4/25/2022