UNTIL THEN WHAT?

 
But until then, how many fleeting, holy moments do you need to look through the window? But until then, how many broken-winged, pitiful promises are needed to finally believe that all your attempts were in vain? But until then, who will lead the flames of immortal love in their hearts? But until then, how many scorched, human-victim epidemics will gnaw their octopus tentacles into us?! But until then, how many more crocodile eggs will be needed from the shortage? And how many hugs that didn't become Everything, and laughter that bounced off the walls on purpose, would it take for two people to confess the One-Truth to each other's faces as confidential accomplices?!

How many crumpled blankets and tangled sheets do you need to wrap one fly? How many sincerely mumbled compliments, romantic serenades? In how many seconds can the heartbeat be measured? How many deliberate yes-no, maybe, or never? How many or just maybe? And how many, how many vainly whispered words of victimhood, words that tighten throats like lumps, which are always in vain?!

And how many Apocryphal deeds lie deep in crooked mirrors? Or how many petty wars have been fought and then lost? How many Mondays? How many quarter past five in the morning and how many more deliberately closed doors after calls? How much promised emigration, longing for a trip, stateless homesickness?! – How long do you have to endure the daily tests of existence if you have no name or no raven?

When can there be a unified compromise in the name of development and growth? And when will bonbons and bouquets of flowers become fashionable again? Instead of inquisitorial swearing, when can new language exercises be born that do not necessarily destroy the style? Why are we treading and wading through the fateful years alone and not as a couple?! – We grow old quietly within ourselves, because we can and must always give up on something!