Slow-motion Suicide

my throat,
a narrow alley
where shadows
of memories
gathered to whisper
their cruel nothings.
as I choked
on the silence
the taste of it bitter
like last night's regret
like the words
I never spoke,
like the love
I never gave,
like the love
that never gave.
a storm brewed and raged
as I forced it down,
like a swallow
of dirty water,
hoping to drown
the ache,
but it only seemed to spread
like a stain on my shirt,
like the shame that clung,
like the weight that I wore,
like the weight that I bore.
I was swallowing
my pain
like a slow-motion
suicide,
one gulp at a time
one bitter taste
at a time,
one suffocating
silence at a time.