The analogy

During the winter of 2019
The residents of Hemlton Bay long Island
Woke up to what they say was the worst smell...
They had ever experienced
Turns out that mysteriously overnight all the fish in the canal had died
After further analysis they found that the oxygen levels in the water were too low
And all the fish had drowned...
Upon hearing this ,they said things like how does a fish drown don't they have gills and fins?
They said things like aren't  they built   to     survive     in that     environment?
Maybe this is the perfect analogy for my depression
This angry deity,
This jealous god
This feeling of immense sadness
But I made a promise to myself not to be another drowning fish
So everyday I tell myself it's going to get better it's going to be OK it's...it's going to be OK
What most people call spiraling into madness
To help cope I have deduced that I have no emotion
Painted myself as a person with no devotion
I remember hating my self at the age of 10
Journals filled to the brim with criticisms
By 11 I had enough pages to stitch into wings to fly close enough to the sun
And see my tears turn to steam...,
Feel the wax burn on my shoulders and mould into thick skin
I was 11 when I wanted to die
13 when I found a solution
Figured if I cut my legs enough gravity would let me go
So when I tell you I love you it is not poetry
It is putting all the love I couldn't give myself and putting it to good use
Because if someone could love a dying thing this way
Hold the lazaras of my body,kiss the scars and administer the pills
And teach me joke I will hopefully stay alive long enough to laugh at then maybe I can accept that I am one from the stars and that
I will always be a woman of scars
I love you...
Enough to want to love myself too!!