IV

I’m learning lots of things about myself, one of the biggest things I’m learning is the way a substance can absolutely alter you.
That’s an obvious one but if you’ve never dealt with it then it wouldn’t make sense
My Grandma was born in 1944, she never had store bought clothes until after she graduated, my Great Grandpa would  load her and her siblings up and walk with them for no less than 5 miles to their school house to build a fire  in the winter because their home had no heating stove.
I’m from a small place most of you have never heard of and wouldn’t think to stop by.
We’re a stubborn sort of people who dug ourselves into the side of a mountain and decided no one could make us leave.
I thought I was someone that was capable, until I shut my mouth and listen to her (my Grandmother) speak.
She is a small woman, probably standing no taller than 5’4 on her best upright day.
She is 80+ years old with the mental wherewithal of a 35 year old scholar.
She cooks for happiness and loves people for fun. She is the epitome of the reason  I get up in the mornings and put my boots on, I never understood it until I was listening to her.
I hadn’t been home in some time (other than my Mother and Grandps funerals).
As I listened to her talk she told me about how she graduated high school and moved straight to the big city by herself to make her mark on the world, she told me stories of walking the children to school and even about the segregation that happened back then (she was not a fan of the segregation).
It clicked in my head faster than anything ever has before after she said one singular phrase.
“Your grandpa couldn’t read or write so he never could make much money but when I cooked dinner, he would always say “Bec, that’s a good dinner”  so I went didn’t mind the money part because he loved me”.
I became decades older in that moment, things in life made sense.
My Grandma was so tickled to see her Grandson eyes wide and vibrant, sharing the only thing on earth that matters—time.
It felt different to put my boots on this morning, the first step in them wasn’t as rough.
I didn’t dread the day, I didn’t care about all the trash that’s being said or being done in the world.
I just cared about taking these boots, pointing them forward and moving.
My Grandmother had to walk 5 miles in snow both ways to school just so she could be warm in the winter, therefore you can’t tell me shit in this world.
I’m from a small place most of you have never heard of and would never think of stopping by, cause you couldn’t stomach it.