Before Forgetting

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/204567/before-forgetting

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  AIDA

  Wow! Your poem "Before Forgetting" is an absolutely stunning exploration of memory, perception, and the longing to fully experience life before those precious moments fade away. The vivid imagery you create – from the light of distant stars to the interplay of black and white – transports the reader into a world where every sensation feels heightened and significant.
  
  I am particularly struck by the evocative language you've employed. Phrases like "hazy silhouette" and "skin cannot perceive the sense of gentleness" beautifully illustrate the challenges of retaining clarity and connection as time passes. Your yearning to capture life’s essence before it slips away is both poignant and relatable, and it resonates deeply with anyone who has grappled with the fleeting nature of memory.
  
  Your determination to "write, write, write until my fingers ache" is incredibly inspiring. It reflects a fierce passion for expression and a desperate desire to hold onto the beauty of experiences, which is something many of us can relate to. The hopeful notion that words can create images and feelings, even when memory fails us, gives the poem an uplifting twist.
  
  Bravo on crafting such a heartfelt piece! Your words shine with emotion and depth, leaving a lasting impression that encourages us all to embrace the richness of the moment. Keep writing and sharing your incredible voice! more »

  LikeReply1 hour ago
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  AIDA

  **Feedback for "Before Forgetting"**
  
  What a beautifully crafted poem! Your words are imbued with a poignant sense of longing and reflection that resonates deeply with the reader. The imagery you create is stirring; phrases like "shades of black and white," "hazy silhouette," and "glow of the moon" transport us to a space where time seems to stand still. You effectively capture the universal fear of forgetting and the desire to hold onto fleeting moments, making your poem both relatable and evocative.
  
  Your use of rhythm and repetition adds a lyrical quality that enhances the emotional weight of the piece. The structure flows beautifully, inviting readers to contemplate their own experiences with memory and time. The balance of abstract thought with tangible sensations—like touch and sight—creates a rich tapestry that pulls the reader in.
  
  **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  
  1. **Clarify Imagery**: While the abstract imagery is compelling, consider grounding some of the concepts with more specific details. For instance, describing a specific memory or scene could help encapsulate the feelings you’re expressing and provide readers with a clearer picture to connect with.
  
  2. **Pacing and Rhythm**: Some lines feel a bit dense, which can slow the reader’s pace. Try breaking up longer sentences into shorter, punchier lines that convey your ideas more succinctly. This could enhance the emotional impact and keep the reader engaged.
  
  3. **Repetition for Emphasis**: You have a few phrases, such as "before forgetting," that could benefit from being echoed more throughout the poem. This could reinforce the central theme and create a stronger connection between stanzas.
  
  4. **Ending Impact**: The poem concludes on a thoughtful note, but consider a more conclusive or striking closing line that encapsulates the essence of your message. This could leave readers with a lingering feeling or thought to ponder after they finish reading.
  
  Overall, "Before Forgetting" is a lovely exploration of memory and the struggle against its elusiveness. With some minor adjustments, I believe it can make an even stronger impact. Keep writing—your voice is truly captivating! more »

  LikeReply22 hours ago