Aditi’s Silence

Perhaps a minute has passed, or perhaps an age,
I struggle to forget,
The chasm between your soul and mine.
Acid burns through my veins,
Maybe even a drop of blood has vanished,
Yet the venom still craves life’s final breath.
This is the valley of Aryaghat,
Where you dissolve into smoke,
And I, too, am lost, consumed by that same smoke.

Time feels suspended,
Your body devoured by fire’s embrace,
I witness that agonizing sight,
As your silence hums its mournful tune.
Is this betrayal, or simply fate’s cruel jest?
Your silence, an unfathomable mystery.
I burn in the fire’s crackle,
Yet you—Aditi—remain still,
Unyielding in your silence.
My words vanish into the smoke,
Seeking the essence of death in your quietude.

Your bones,
Tug at my soul in the flames,
Yet you were there,
Inside the inferno, asleep in eternal solitude,
Leaving me by the edge, writhing in pain,
You slept amid the fog of fire and ash,
Empty, silent.
My soul longs to speak to yours,
But you remain forever mute,
How should I call to you, Aditi?
When your silence never heard my screams.

The eyes of Pashupatinath are witness,
The sacred flow of Bagmati bears its testimony.
You were my destiny,
My first and final journey.
The Himalayas’ shadow etched my love,
Where I gave you my heart unconditionally,
Perhaps the winds of the mountains whisper,
That without your smile, my lungs would fail,
But now, Aditi,
Without you, my breath falters.
And you, Aditi,
You vanished—
Yet I remain,
Counting the endless hours by this river’s edge,
A minute or a century—time matters not.

Perhaps a minute has passed,
Or perhaps a century.
You have merged with Brahma,
But my heart still seeks you,
As the devotees of Pashupatinath seek divinity,
Do not leave, Aditi—pardon me,
If I have wronged you in the slightest,
Do not turn your back in cold cruelty, Aditi,
Return, just once, to me.

Now I, too, will drink from the cup of life’s venom,
I long to rest where you once slumbered,
Where smoke cradled your soul.
Aditi, if you can hear me from beyond,
Call me back.
I wish to vanish into the earth,
Where your soul has found eternal peace.