Fishbowl Mind

I feel like I’m trapped in my mind                                                     Like a fish looking at the world warped through the filter of a fishbowl
Trapped and confined for all to leer at, as my life is a contract waiting to be signed   
Every word I hear suffocates me till I’m drowning and no longer whole

I’m trying to keep my head above the surface but everything said to me is ricocheting inside    
As if I only exist to be a human gallery of emotions that were never felt but deflected        
I’m a bomb waiting to blow and pull everything with me into the mind where things have died  
But I keep myself chained & restrained so that when I finally shatter the aftermath won't be reflected
 
My fists are clenched and aching to hit something to taste the sweet, pain-filled release     
Eyes blinking and waiting to flow, to quench the starving, longing, touch-starved induced thirst                                                                     I force my emotions down until they are long forgotten and pray for the mercy of peace           
But it never comes, leaving me numb and scouring for the emotions that have traversed into dust

I feel as if I’m standing outside my body and looking through a twisted, shattered version of me                        
I feel as if I’ll keep breaking & sinking & drowning until I’m freed from my mental captivity