Rate:4.8 / 6 votes

Fearful Heart

McKinfery

My heart leaves the dark
When I’m with you
You’re my shining light
That guides me through
No matter what my heart is yours
Although it was tricky
like opening the right one out of ten thousand doors
You picked right and you opened me up
And now I am no longer stuck
Once cold and gloomy
Now warm and bright
Your smile leads me through the darkest of nights
You noticed me... from inside out
At first my mind was shrouded by doubt
Unfreezing my feelings once numbed with pain
I start to believe you can stand the rain
Time goes on, I begin to change
My feelings for you no longer the same
I kicked you out beyond unreasonable doubt
Asking me why, I replied:
Detached from the world
An emotional plane wreck
Feelings of vulnerability
I added layers and layers to shield my heart
to protect me from love’s hostility
All of this caused because I’ve been damaged by giving my all
My heart ripped apart and left betrayed
Not wanting to stand in the storm called love
I shelter my heart to this day
To not be conquered by that unpleasant emotion I retreat
And yet even still you choose to stand by me
I don’t know what to do
I ask myself should I look back to you
I look deep in your eyes and then I see
I remember that warm light that guided me
It engulfed me, penetrated my layers
And now you ask, softly
“What do you feel?”
With a deep sigh, I look down, then back at you, then away  
Unable to answer your gaze
 “Nothing”
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Written on December 11, 2018

Submitted by McKinfery on February 05, 2025

Modified by McKinfery on February 26, 2025

1:28 min read
551

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCBDEDFGECHIIJJKLIMNOEPEQRSTUEBBEEDEVTWY
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,453
Words 295
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 41
Full analysis for Fearful Heart »

Discuss the poem Fearful Heart with the community...

19 Comments
  • donka_k
    donka_k
    Masterfully expressed. It takes courage to speak of these conflicting emotions, so human!
    LikeReply 128 days ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    What a beautifully evocative poem, "Fearful Heart"! You’ve created a heartfelt journey that many can resonate with, as it explores themes of vulnerability, love, and the intricate dance between fear and connection. Your vivid imagery, such as "shining light that guides me through" and "layers to shield my heart," paints a powerful picture of the struggle between self-protection and the yearning for intimacy.

    The emotional progression of the poem is compelling. I love how you transition from darkness to light, capturing the transformation that occurs when one finds a person who truly sees and understands them. The use of metaphors, like the "ten thousand doors," is a fantastic representation of the complexity of trust and relationships. It's also particularly striking how you weave in the theme of struggle with vulnerability and the scars that past experiences leave behind.

    Here are a few suggestions for improvement:

    1. Structure and Flow:
    Consider enhancing the flow by introducing more varied line lengths or stanza breaks. This can help emphasize specific parts of the poem and guide the reader’s breath and pacing as they absorb your words.

    2. Tightening Language:
    While the emotional depth is rich, some lines could benefit from tightening language to create more impact. For example, instead of “Time goes on I start to change,” you might say, “As time passes, I begin to change.” This tightens phrasing while maintaining meaning.

    3. Punctuation Consistency:
    Keeping your punctuation consistent can help with clarity. For example, ensure there's a uniform style for periods and commas, especially in parts where dialogue is presented. This will make it easier for readers to follow the shifts in voice.

    4. Final Resolution:
    The ending is poignant and leaves the reader with a sense of unresolved tension, which is powerful. However, you might consider adding a line or two that hints at a way forward or a glimmer of hope, giving a sense of potential for future growth amidst the uncertainty.

    Overall, this poem is a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of love and fear. Your voice shines through, inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences and emotions. Keep up the wonderful work!     
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • Le_Mestre
    Le_Mestre
    Ok
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • 7lomy
    7lomy
    Amazing
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • Abernathyx
    Abernathyx
    Nice
    LikeReply29 days ago
  • Akinpet23
    Akinpet23
    Amazing
    LikeReply29 days ago
  • mark.e.s
    mark.e.s
    This is touching.
    LikeReply29 days ago
  • Byfaithjaynak
    Byfaithjaynak
    Great writing I can see the conflict of my own heart at times
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • jn.selvadurai
    jn.selvadurai
    A beautifully crafted creation on love, trust and emortional resiliance.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • susan.brumel
    susan.brumel
    Nice exploration of the complexities of relationships.
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • TanjaKlaric
    TanjaKlaric
    Powerful reflection
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • sharona.reeves81
    sharona.reeves81
    Fear wreaks havoc
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • Kama77
    Kama77
    Nice
    LikeReply 11 month ago
  • mark.e.s
    mark.e.s
    Like
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • Htrout24
    Htrout24
    Well written
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • ladyygracious
    ladyygracious
    Nice
    LikeReply1 month ago
    • ladyygracious
      ladyygracious
      I appreciate how this poem doesn't shy away from the complexities and challenges of love, but instead faces them head-on with courage and vulnerability.
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • Akinpet23
    Akinpet23
    Lovely
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • Shazzajones112
    Shazzajones112
    What a lovely poem. Very well written. Like the flow of it
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • BellaTheMilkCarton
    BellaTheMilkCarton
    nice
    LikeReply1 month ago

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"Fearful Heart" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 11 Mar. 2025. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/211994/fearful-heart>.

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