A tribute to pickyourown.org, where I found the most poetic pickle recipe ever written

You will need cucumbers -
fresh, crisp -
not wilted, soft or overripe!
And God forbid you forget
Your quick process pickling mix
Which you can pick
up with a couple of bucks,
costs between 3 and 4 dollars.
And make sure to have clear vinegar!.

Very important are the Jar Grabber
(for grabbing hot jars),
the Lid Lifter (for lifting hot lids),
and the Jar Funnel (I don't know
what this does, it's important).

You've got to cut up the cucumbers --
Slice them lengthwise if you like spears,
Dice them across if you want
bread and butter
Pickles, don't do anything crazy.

You must bring the pickle mix (to be purchased - My wife says Polish Dill Pickle mix is top notch.
Me, I like Mrs. Wages Mixed Pickling Spice)

-You must bring the pickle mix-
to a near boil-
And before we go any further
When the method of pickling is "The Quick Pickling Process"
The processing time for a pint-sized jar can vary from ten minutes
(if you live within 1,000 feet of sea level) or
Fifteen minutes (if you live 1,001-6,000 feet above sea level).
If you are more than 6,000 feet above sea level,
You are in uncharted waters, my friend.

You've brought the pickle mix to a near boil-
Now quickly! pack the cucumbers into a jar, and now
Pour the simmering pickle mix liquid, over them, into them, around them !
Till near fullness. Then,
stop the ebb, the slow flow of pickle liquid and wait

at least 24 hours. Me,
I would wait two weeks,
two weeks for flavor.
Ah! the wait!