The Perfect Human

I can’t even kick a ball
I am weak and very small
My legs are twisted and bent
They’re not worth a single cent
Every time I try, I stumble and fall
Sadly, I can’t even kick a ball

Hula-hooping is not for me
Rather have the crisps, you see
My hips would break apart
They’ve been brittle from the start
So I can get a packet to have with tea
But hula-hooping is not for me

My belly is rather grand
Not something I had planned
I like a snack now and then
Actually, I end up with them again and again
I would sink in a pit of sand
Because my belly is rather grand

My arms are podgy things
Dangling like chicken wings
I wish the muscles would thicken
And even if I were a chicken
They would not serve me to the kings
As my arms are podgy things

I have a double chin
It gets bigger when I grin
There’s a village growing on it
The community is quite close-knit
You can see it from Wellington to Berlin
Yes, I have a double chin

Do not mention my nose
No it is not a pretty rose
It has been bashed a lot
And it stores a bank of snot
It is hideous, I suppose
Please do not mention my nose

Dumbo’s ears are smaller than mine
I think there may have been a fault in my design
They pick and mine inside for diamonds and wax
My ears are filled with them to the max
I am not sure if it is a positive sign
However, Dumbo’s ears are smaller than mine

My forehead is very high
They say it goes beyond the sky
It has been to the moon and back
and it has its own racetrack
The other day I was told by a guy
That my forehead is very high

Where my brain has gone, nobody knows
Even I do not know where it goes
It travels the universe, sometimes far, far away
Where the weather is perfect everyday
When I put it back, it squeezes out of my nose
Afterwards, where my brain has gone, nobody knows

No one can be faultless or perfect
But to be called ‘a human’ would be correct
Everyone is different, even twins
From the second you are born, your story begins
What you do next, you can choose and select
But do not forget: no one can be faultless or perfect