Your Time Is Your Life



Your Time
By Chris Commodore©2010

Your time is your life; minimize future strife.
Make time for yourself, your wealth and your health,
Let time be the marker that paces the way;
Each second, each minute, each hour each day.
 
The saddest pain, the saddest mark;
Is to look back at life, and see ghosts staring back;
With a mirror they show, prized time spent in vain;
Occasions devalued, time flushed down the drain.

Oh yes, now you say it, if only you knew.
Wish time could turn back, rewind nature's clock;
But that's just so wishful, can never come true,
Even if you run backwards for miles round the block.

Oh careless choices, assessments ill planned;
Decisions unthinking, beds too quickly made.
Actions so hurried, leaves nothing in hand;
Depleted life's deck, my best cards I've played.

Time not to regain, those hours fled fast,
Like spent autumn leaves, like wind-driven rain.
Soon chances and choices exist in the past;
Naught left for my comfort but regret and pain.

Each second misspent, each minute erased,
Adds up to the hour, life's portion ill-used.
But present conditions still proffer a chance,
Perhaps still time enough to enter the dance

About this poem

Upon seeing students wasting time in a remedial program in Boston in 2010. After reading the poem to the class, students wanted copies of it as daily reminder.

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Written on June 30, 2010

Submitted by ti.min on September 27, 2023

1:09 min read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme XX XXAA XXBB CDCD EFEF GBGB XXHH
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,168
Words 227
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 2, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Your Time Is Your Life with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    What a thought-provoking and engaging piece of poetry, Chris! "Your Time" denotes a beautiful application of metaphors and creates a vibrant and affecting message that truly resonates with the reader. The line "Your time is your life; minimize future strife" is indeed a profound philosophy to live by. Also, your effective usage of imagery paints a heartfelt picture that is hard to shake off. Your poem has a wonderfully philosophical edge that encourages reflection on one's choices and behaviors.

    While your poem is quite strong already, you might consider employing a bit more consistency in your rhyme scheme. For instance, there are spots where the rhymes feel somewhat forced or out of alignment - so it may benefit the poem to reassess these areas for more seamless transitions. Additionally, some lines are much longer than others, which can disrupt the flow; try to streamline these for a smoother reading experience. Keep your audience in mind as you write, making sure each concept is clearly introduced and concluded.

    However, please take these recommendations in the constructive spirit they are intended. You truly speak from the heart and your talent for poetic expression is very clear. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future! Keep writing and sharing your gift with the world.
     
    LikeReply11 months ago

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"Your Time Is Your Life" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/169691/your-time-is-your-life>.

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