Damaged

You claim to see beauty
but she sees herself as ugly
tarnished by bruises
and scars not visible to eyes
silent tears and small white lies
secretly she hates herself
not for who she is
but for not having the strength within
the strength to stand
the strength to leave
the strength to just...
 let go of your hand
everyday she wonders
why she still clings
to this toxic disaster you call love
she's tired of hiding
tired of smiling
so sick of pretending...
she looks at everyone and wonders
what do they see when they look at her...
is she the tiny helpless creature
the one she feels like every time you beat her?
do they see they strength and happy girl that she pretends to be
hiding behind make up long sleeves and faded worn out jeans?
she feels no one understands her
no one really gets her
no one really cares about her
she has tried to open up.
to friends to family to doctors
and they all wanna diagnose her
medicate her
control her
reduce her...
to something of a label
to something that's just not... her
she disassociates
and pictures herself far away
but this is her only mental escape
a temporary pause from your hate...