Feeble attempt at hope

I wish I could give you something other than my depression and longing

Other than my fear and pain

I wish I could tell you it all gets better

Because for a time it did

It did get better

And then the window shattered and the fragments of glass came falling down

Spraying over the floor chaotically

And I no longer had the energy to pick them up

Glass cuts deep just like the wounds of my past

If I could return to you, look you in your beautiful eyes, and tell you these words

I'm sorry, I love you

Maybe then you would forgive me and I could wander hopelessly on in the darkness

Gosh, I wish I could say I see a good future for my life

But maybe my thoughts are meant to drown me and cause me to fall into utter, complete silence

God, if you are there

If you are a living God

Please

Protect me from myself

I'm no magician. I'm no hero. And I'm surely not a God.

But I do love you Jesus. Please come for me.

Restore my heart

Love my soul

Bring me back to life, my sovereign, holy God