Elusive Success



Elusive Success

I raced up the mountain looking for you,
Among countless others striving too,
To be the first and to be the best,
From childhood we train for this test.
 
In my haste I passed many by,
Weary, lost souls staring at the sky,
But reaching that summit was my solitary aim,
My unerring shot at wealth and fame.
 
As slopes grew steeper, less climbers scaled the height,
Many a fallen comrade, in the shadows of the night,
But if I fall back I must bear the blame,
I thought I knew the rules of this game.
 
Finally, I did conquer the mountain peak,
There your welcoming presence I did seek,
But the top was barren, no flowers in bloom,
And you were nowhere, just misty gloom.
 
So where else could I venture from there?
Descent was needed, I was aware,
But there was no race and there was no rush,
Time to absorb the tranquil stillness and hush.
 
On the way, I stopped by the fallen weak,
Help them rise, and guide them to the peak,
And then I see you, in their grateful tear,
The sun has risen and the mist was clear.
 
So, did I climb a higher peak?
Is this the journey all should seek?
Along the path with humble eyes,
Success, I found you - no disguise!

About this poem

We all join the rat race. Success appears to be defined as individual glory and achievement. But is there an alternative? The poem questions the traditional way how we look at Success - which is based on the result or the destination. The poem suggests that the intention, the satisfaction, and the path taken are more significant than the ultimate result when evaluating success. A mountain climbing analogy has been used. The original poem and title were revised in January 2025.  

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Written on April 23, 2024

Submitted by jn.selvadurai on April 22, 2024

Modified by jn.selvadurai on February 09, 2025

1:16 min read
302

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD EEDD FFGG HHII FFHX FFJJ
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,155
Words 254
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Niranjan Selvadurai

 · 1955 · Colombo

I am an Australian with Sri Lankan roots. Though I have had a life-long fascination for international poetry, I commenced writing poetry only about a decade ago. The sudden passing away of a dear childhood friend was the initial trigger. I find written expression involving rhyme, imagery, and symbolism a fulfilling experience. I write poetry both in English and in Sinhala. more…

All Niranjan Selvadurai poems | Niranjan Selvadurai Books

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2 Comments
  • yelskwah
    "Elusive Success" is a beautifully crafted and thought-provoking poem. You've effectively used the metaphor of climbing a mountain to explore the complex and often elusive nature of success. The journey you depict is both physical and metaphorical, representing the internal struggle many face in their pursuit of achievement. 
    LikeReply24 days ago
  • ladyygracious
    Nice one
    LikeReply1 month ago
    • jn.selvadurai
      thank you for your appreciation.
      LikeReply1 month ago

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"Elusive Success" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 22 Feb. 2025. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/187221/elusive-success>.

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