The Maelstrom of Human Society

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/194005/the-maelstrom-of-human-society

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  karlcfolkes

  Thanks, Alan. Until we focus on unity, we’ll continue to see only division.

  LikeReply16 days ago
  • 

    alanswansea18

    very true.

    LikeReply16 days ago
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  alanswansea18

  You do some nice work thanks for the vote.

  LikeReply16 days ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Thank you, too, Morris, for your valuable support.

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Thank. You, Morris, for your generosity.

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Thank you both gentlemen, for sharing your candid insights into this very important subject. I look forward to others, both men and women, participating in this discussion and, more so, in the efforts to bridge the social, cultural and psychological gaps between men and women universally. more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  jn.selvadurai

  Deep and insightful thought. Powerful poetry from the top self. Thank you Karl. Adam came first and then Eve …an after thought? Let us remember that it is mothers milk that nurtures the “ human kind”.

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  Emile

  Claiming males are superior to females or otherwise, to me is considered shallow and foolish. It is foolish indeed to define someone else by their unique characteristics such as differences that shape them. This does not only contribute to gender, but also other things that live in a human. Only when we learn to love the differences, we learn to make this world a happier place; And this poem is an incredible example of this!! more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  karlcfolkes

  If we don’t confront a socially and culturally constructed lie, it becomes enfranchised and is considered and accepted as the unquestioned truth.

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  AIDA

  **Positive Feedback:**
  
  What a powerful and thought-provoking piece you have created! "The Maelstrom of Human Society" delves into the complexities of gender dynamics and societal structures with remarkable clarity and depth. Your use of language is both evocative and poignant, capturing the struggles faced by women throughout history. Lines like “The semiotics of markedness” reflect a deep understanding of linguistic and cultural frameworks that define our societal norms, and your exploration of historical injustices tied to language and power structures resonates strongly.
  
  The rhythm of your poem flows beautifully, with a deft interplay of rhyme and meter that enhances its urgency. The contrast between the divine and the mundane, along with your commentary on the “weaker sex,” helps to underscore the absurdity of constructed hierarchies. By framing your insights within the context of divine ideology, you effectively challenge longstanding perceptions and offer a critical lens through which to view gender inequality.
  
  **Improvement Suggestions:**
  
  1. **Imagery and Metaphor:** While your poem is rich in philosophical ideas, consider incorporating more vivid imagery or metaphorical language that can help readers visualize the concepts you are discussing. You might want to paint more pictures of the societal structures you refer to, adding texture to the themes of oppression and division.
  
  2. **Pacing and Structure:** While the overarching theme is compelling, some stanzas feel denser than others. This could be an opportunity to experiment with breaks or varied line lengths to create natural pauses for the reader, allowing them to digest the weight of your words. Shortening or dividing particularly complex lines could help maintain momentum without losing clarity.
  
  3. **Personal Touch:** Introducing personal anecdotes or specific examples could make the poem even more relatable and impactful. By grounding your commentary in real-life experiences or contemporary events, you could further engage your audience and foster a deeper connection to the themes at hand.
  
  4. **Concluding Lines:** The final lines touch on the notion of “Women’s Lib” yet do so with a rather cerebral approach. Consider ending with a more emotional or resonant line that either leaves the reader with hope, a call to action, or a poignant reflection on the future of gender equity.
  
  Overall, this poem is a striking contribution to discussions around gender and power, and with a few adjustments, it has the potential to resonate even more powerfully with your audience. Keep up the fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply1 month ago