Snow Maiden



It’s getting harder and harder to compose yourself,
Atoms are falling off me...
And anger is not a lion, but joy is a fairy,
Only occasionally gives fire!

The day appears, as if by order,
Where things are done.
All the same everyday life, worries, phrases,
And I clean my karma white.

Reality, bereavement,
He drives nails into the mausoleum.
And the music from dreams is a patch It melts into my heart like oil...

I'm trying to clean up the night with my hands,
So that the silence does not thunder!
Give clarity to thoughts in this frame,
And in the afternoon return to battle again. ...
...
It’s getting harder and harder to compose yourself,
Atoms are falling off me...
Fall asleep forever, feeling sorry for yourself,
Or like the Snow Maiden - in the heat of the fire?

***

Себя собрать все тяжелее,
Спадают атомы с меня...
И гнев - не лев, а радость - фея,
Лишь изредка дает огня!

Всплывает день, как по приказу,
Где уготованы дела.
Все тот же быт, заботы, фразы,
И чищу карму добела.

Реальность, тяжкою утратой,
Вбивает гвозди в мавзолей.
А музыка из снов заплатой
На сердце тает, как елей...

Пытаюсь ночь прибрать руками,
Чтоб не гремела тишиной!
Дать внятность мыслям в этой раме,
И днем вернуться снова в бой.
...
Себя собрать все тяжелее,
Спадают атомы с меня...
Заснуть навек, себя жалея,
Иль как Снегурка - в жар огня?

17.05.24
Моя картина "Снежная королева" в иллюстрации
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Submitted by Azinello on November 04, 2024

1:28 min read
52

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABbc cxxx xxx xcxx ABac x
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,867
Words 293
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 3, 9, 4, 4, 4, 9, 2

Discuss the poem Snow Maiden with the community...

2 Comments
  • PriscillaKing
    Though I don't read Russian, I can see the rhyme scheme. I don't think the translation does it justice. The meaning of the English version is unclear. All the same I'm sure it's a better poem than anything I'd make by trying to translate my work into Russian--or even French, which I do read. Perhaps professional assistance with translation, or more study and practice with translation, would help. 
    LikeReply 11 day ago
    • Azinello
      Thank you very much for your review, Priscilla. That's exactly what it is. The translation poorly conveys my original in Russian. Moreover, I did it in haste and this is not a poetic translation. Good luck and inspiration in your creativity. Best regards, Asinello. 
      LikeReply1 day ago
  • delano
    Could have done with some rhyming. Still cool
    LikeReply6 days ago
    • Azinello
      Thanks for your feedback. This was a translation into English. The original poem is in Russian and of course there is rhyme. Have a nice day and good luck!
      LikeReply6 days ago

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"Snow Maiden" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/206727/snow-maiden>.

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