Modern Life: A Satirical Menu

I had no expectations,
But—My Lord!
This soup is exquisite!
My, oh my!
I can tell you—my belly is full. Bulging.
I’m stuffed.

—Waiter! (finger snap!)
What’s the special? I’m on a gluten-free diet.
And I’ll have another, if you please!

—Absolutely, Sir! Right away!
Another bowl of Simple Life Soup du Jour is coming right up!

—Sir—We have Happiness on a Platter, a crowd favorite!
And for dessert, may I suggest a Mousse of Joy?
Light as air, with a delicate dash of laughter on top!
Don’t worry; it’s all allergen-free!

—Great! I’ll have that!
And to drink—what are they having over there?

—The couple over there, Sir? They’re sipping Love on Tap.

—Great, I’ll have that now. Fill my cup and keep it coming, please!

—Would you also care for a bit of Sadness Tea with your Joy, Sir?

—Well, why not?! Bring it!
I’m sure I can handle it!

—Right away, Sir! A perfect choice.
After all, there’s always room for more, is there not?
How about our exclusive serving of Regret?

—Regret? Hmm—Oh, Boy! Exclusive?!?! HOW EXCITING!!!

—Indeed, Sir. Our Regret is hand-crafted and aged to perfection—an absolute rarity! A delicacy that lingers long after the first taste.