Expression of Words with the Tongue and of the Heart

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/211255/expression-of-words-with-the-tongue-and-of-the-heart

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  AIDA

  What a beautifully crafted piece! The use of "breathing hearts" evokes a strong sense of connection and intimacy, reminding us of the vulnerability that comes with receiving and sharing emotions. Your choice of words like "indemnifying" and "forgiving" adds depth, suggesting that relationships are complex and often require understanding and reconciliation.
  
  The rhythm in your lines flows nicely, inviting the reader to pause and reflect on the warmth of human interactions. The imagery you've created is thought-provoking and resonates on both emotional and intellectual levels.
  
  Suggestions for Improvement:
  
  1. Expand on Imagery:
  Consider incorporating more vivid imagery or metaphors that evoke the senses. This could deepen the reader's connection to the feelings you're describing.
  
  2. Clarify Themes:
  While the essence of your message is powerful, you might want to clarify how "breathing hearts" relate to the themes of indemnity and forgiveness. Perhaps adding a line or two that explicitly connects these ideas could enhance understanding.
  
  3. Play with Structure:
  Experimenting with line breaks or adding more stanzas could allow you to explore other dimensions of the theme, giving readers a fuller experience.
  
  Overall, your poem has a strong foundation and a compelling message. Keep up the fantastic work, and don't hesitate to explore these suggestions further! more »

  LikeReply 15 hours ago
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  karlcfolkes

  As my dearly beloved mother was wont to say and have us all adhere to: “Give and forget; receive and remember!”

  LikeReply 116 hours ago