I Hate but Love

Truthfully I hate.
I hate to hurt
I hate to suffer
I hate to hate.

I hate to hurt as it makes me feel drained;
It’s like oceans of insomnia that cannot be freed.
I hate to hurt cause it doesn’t just tax me;
It kills my life and worst of all, my faith.

I hate to suffer cause I can’t live;
It’s like I’m screaming while drowning in pools of        a-go-ny.
I hate to suffer because my comfort is on fire;
It kills from within and out which is dire.

I hate to hate cause I can’t love;
It is forced evil acts on prey such like a dove.
I hate to hate cause it is me who succumbs to my calamitous propensities;
It kills my glow, and I feel as though a boat in a gloomy ocean overflowed.

I am only human, so I hate.
I hate to a degree that only God can save.
Hate allows torment to consume, discreet but certain.
It forces strife more profound than Hell.
Hate thrusts loathing worse than imagined of those locked in a cell.

Again I am only human, so I love.
I love God
Family
And those who hate me.
Except, only cause God requires me.

Love to me is God’s arms open;
It’s a warm home on a cold dark night.
Love to me is struggling to live, but God tells me,
“I am here.”
It feels like waking in the morning, a nice hot meal
with family fellowing each other.

Again I’m only human.
Because I’m human I hate but love.
I’m human, so I feel all pain.
Because I’m human, my struggle varies; sometimes a 1 but also a 10.

Yes I hate
Yes I love.
No I don’t hate people
No I don’t love hate.
I will live and I will thrive
I will hate but I will love.
I love because He first loved me.

This is how I hate but love.