To Go Without...

I catch myself in this dizzy twirl

sitting alone gazing at this endless Merl

losing touch with reality was not my loss

I'm a joke backing down from this Boss

I tell you I'm happy

but inside I'm shredding

wishing I never woke up

laying upon such endless green of mine

staring at the low ceiling

the casket is to hot for my taste

windows clasp shut

my heart beat slows

I wish my hands never drew so cold

nothing would come of it

I tell myself as I reach to pull my hair out

I'm so tired

I forgot to smile today I cant go on with this lie

I guess I'll go on with it and just........................

But I'm so tired

.....inspiration in my life is just a headache I cant bare to go with out..........