Addiction

Hello addiction my old friend. Didn’t think I’d see you again. May I please be excused? I don’t think I can stomach this conversation. No really my stomach can’t take it. I know how you play, how you fight, how you look, how you  entice. Yes I would like seconds, but not tonight. You caught me in a bad moment, but I’m choosing life. Clean time is my right. Your game has to come to an end, you don’t fight fair. Playing to my poor judgement, reminding me you could stop all the pain. Yes, I know you’ve been waiting for me. The whites of your eyes show me the truth inside myself. One more pill doesn’t sound so bad, but I value myself more then the destruction and turmoil you have hiding up your sleeve.  I flushed the pills. My will is weak but I came prepared. My contingency plan is stronger then your death glare. No more games. No more tries. I see through all your lies. You have me so sick now but I’m stubborn too. Be on your way, your rents overdue. Yesterday I may have fallen for this shit, today I made sure you couldn’t get a grip. It’s after midnight now. I’m 29 hours in. Come on, do your worst, I’m not falling for it again. You lulled me away with a warm embrace, but I’m hanging on now you got a face full of mace. It’s time to give up, my program is strong, I have support I can call, you won’t last long. There’s a promise I’m told, if I stick to my guns, that even the sickest addict can get clean, and lose the desire to entertain you. Tonight I’m weak but in the end I’ll be strong. We had a good run, but f*ck off I’m done.