Beneath the Tranquil Sheen

Jessica Wheeler

Rhymed

I walk along a trail to find
the path that winds beyond,
where courses marked by trees confined,
reveal a tranquil pond.

And there, upon her rightful throne,
a swan swims soft and slow;
in all the hours she spends alone-
this swan, I've come to know.

A slender neck, fine-feathered wings,
a gown of purest white;
With bead-like eyes, her sight still springs
from day into the night.

I watch her graceful, gentle glide,
with burdens not revealed;
Her regal ruse still seems to hide
a loneliness concealed.

What’s covered by her beauty’s gift?
Has calmness killed her fight?
Do troubles drown beneath her drift?
Will she again take flight?

A natural need to mate for life-
I fear her mate’s passed on.
She drifts along this pond in strife,
a lovely, lonely swan.

But take no pity on this queen;
for strength, she cannot mask.
Beneath the water's tranquil sheen,
she’s surging with a task.

The stillness in her wandering,
as ripples rise, I wonder-
Her poise provokes a pondering
of fervent forces under.

Some things aren't quite as they appear;
some surfaces hide battles.
For swans to float on ponds, they bear
the need for frantic paddles.

When fighting just to stay above,
imagine an existence
where we might share a fraction of
a swan's grace and persistence.

Font size:

Collection PDF

Written on April 01, 2023

Submitted by JessicaWheeler on September 11, 2024

: 1:18 min read
: 389 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IFIF JKJK LMLM NONO XPXP QRQR
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	1,279
Words	259
Stanzas	10
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Beneath the Tranquil Sheen »

Jessica Wheeler

Jessica Wheeler is a writer and poet from Branford, Connecticut, where she resides with her husband and two young daughters. Her creative journey began at a young age, with a strong foundation in music and performing arts. Today, Jessica is an active poet on numerous platforms. Her work has been published in several poetry anthologies and on websites dedicated to the complexities of loss and grief. more…

All Jessica Wheeler poems | Jessica Wheeler Books

7 fans

Discuss the poem Beneath the Tranquil Sheen with the community...

7 Comments

Notify me of new comments via email.

Serenescripts
Love how you tell a story through the poem! A new thing for me to learn
LikeReply 14 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  Thank you so much!
  LikeReply4 days ago
dawg4jesus
Beautiful poem, I like the 10th stanza the most, beautiful.
LikeReply 15 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  I truly appreciate it, thank you! Xo
  LikeReply4 days ago
susan.brumel
Stunning poem, Jessica. You’ve created a beautiful painting with your words.
LikeReply 15 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  Thank you so much for your kind words! Xo
  LikeReply4 days ago
karlcfolkes
My Dear Jessica, So much does your idyllic poem remind me of William Wordsworth’s classical poem, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.” How beautifully and melodically the lines flow. The imagery of the majestic swan rising above all obstacles and remaining ever so royally, is perfectly illustrated. This is truly a masterpiece to be treasured. Congratulations! more »
LikeReply 15 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  Your encouraging words mean the world to me, truly. Thank you very much! Xo
  LikeReply5 days ago
alanswansea18
Beautiful piece of work.
LikeReply 15 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  Thank you so much! :)
  LikeReply5 days ago
Symmetry60
Beautiful, rhythmic poetry, Jessica.
LikeReply 16 days ago
- JessicaWheeler
  Thank you so much. I appreciate the read! :)
  LikeReply 16 days ago
AIDA
**Feedback for "Beneath the Tranquil Sheen"**

What a beautifully crafted poem! Your imagery is vivid and enchanting, pulling readers into a serene yet reflective experience by the pond. The metaphor of the swan, often associated with grace and beauty, layered with themes of strength and struggle, adds rich complexity to your work. I particularly appreciate how you balance both the tranquil and tumultuous elements of the swan's existence. Lines like "Beneath the water's tranquil sheen, she's surging with a task" are powerful in conveying the hidden depths of what it means to face life’s challenges.

Your use of rhyme and rhythm flows smoothly, creating a soothing cadence that reflects the gentle movement of the swan. The emotional weight you evoke when you delve into loneliness and resilience is poignant, compelling readers to pause and reflect on their own struggles beneath the surface.

**Suggestions for Improvement:**

1. **Pacing and Structure:** Consider varying the line lengths in places to enhance the imagery and emotion further. For instance, shorter lines could create a more abrupt sense of surprise or urgency where you discuss the swan's hidden struggles.

2. **Imagery Development:** While your imagery is strong, perhaps you could delve a bit deeper into the sensory experiences of the pond environment—sounds or scents could enrich the setting. For example, describing the whispers of the wind or the shimmering reflections in the water would enhance the atmosphere.

3. **Experiment with Line Breaks:** Some lines could benefit from intentional breaks that emphasize key feelings or shifts in tone. This can create a pause, allowing readers to linger on a poignant moment and deepen their understanding.

4. **Add a Closing Reflection:** The poem concludes on a note of shared existence with the swan, which is beautiful. An additional line or couplet that deeply personalizes this reflection—perhaps an insight about perseverance or finding beauty in struggle—could leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Overall, your poem is a touching and thought-provoking piece that resonates with the beauty of resilience in the face of adversity. Keep up the fantastic work, and continue to explore the rich interplay between appearances and underlying realities in your writing! more »
LikeReply6 days ago

Translation

Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

Select another language:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Beneath the Tranquil Sheen" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Sep. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/197824/beneath-the-tranquil-sheen>.

Become a member!

Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Poets, Poems & Poetry

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

More poems by

Jessica Wheeler

September 2024

Poetry Contest

Join our monthly contest for an opportunity to win cash prizes and attain global acclaim for your talent.

Submissions due in...

days

hours

minutes

83 entries submitted — 67 remaining

Special Program

Earn Rewards!

Unlock exciting rewards such as a free mug and free contest pass by commenting on fellow members' poems today!

Our awesome collection of

Promoted Poems

Heteronymous Fernando Pe…
Karl Constantine FOLKES
Universe Medley
Tania Vargas
The Unknown Soldier
David Reilly
A Comme Amour
William He
Collateral Hearts
Jessica Wheeler
Dream From A Drop
William Hughes

Browse Poetry.com

#A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z NEW

Quiz

Are you a poetry master?

Who wrote the poem "The Waste Land"?

A W.H. Auden

B Sylvia Plath

C Ezra Pound

D T.S. Eliot